What Kind of Mom…

What kind of mom sometimes gives up on making dinner because her kids snack too much beforehand then never eat it anyway?

What kind of mom buys her kids treats at the grocery store even though they misbehaved so she doesn’t have to endure the meltdown if she says no?

What kind of mom sets limits on screen time then ignores it because she is finally able to take a bath in peace?

What kind of mom buys her kids clothes and toys then complains when they are strewn all over the living room?

What kind of mom makes the kids go outside and play so she can clean the house but ends up scrolling through social media?

What kind of mom takes her kids to the park but only stays for thirty minutes because she’s too doggone cold?

What kind of mom tries so hard to be perfect and cries because she knows she’ll never get there?

What kind of mom has overwhelming fears that she may be ruining her kids?

A good mom. A normal mom. A mom like me. I have done every single one of these things at some point. I know you have heard it before, but I’ll say it again: “The fact that you worry if you’re a good mom is proof that you are one.” Why? A bad mom wouldn’t care one way or the other.

Motherhood is hard. We are accountable for raising moral, responsible, well-mannered adults, and it’s a twenty-four-hour job. It’s even more difficult if you’re doing it alone, like me. I constantly feel like I’m failing. But when I tuck them into bed every night to hugs and kisses and “I love you mom”- I know I must be doing something right.

As long as the good outweighs the bad and the happy outweighs the sad, they will grow up and be glad… they have a great mom. A mom like you.

Writer’s Block

I’ve been wanting to write something for a while now. Sometimes, I feel I don’t have anything worthwhile to say. Experts say when you have writer’s block, the best thing to do is just write. Odd how that works. So here I am just writing whatever comes to mind- assuming something will.

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Remembering Normal

A health scare last month caused me to quit caffeine cold turkey. I had the typical nine days of headaches and irritability, but then something strange happened. I’ve been feeling really “off” for a couple of weeks. I’ve struggled with mild depression and anxiety for most of my adult life, but this feels different.

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The “Good” Side of Mild Depression

dandelion with a blurred sunset in the background

When I first started this blog, I had a vision of what I would write about. I would write about Faith, Family, Food, Fun, Fitness (thus the titles of my categories menu) and about being a single mother. But as the blog is progressing, it seems to be more about how to deal with and overcome depression. Now, I certainly don’t want to be Debbie Downer all the time, but as they say- “you write what you know”.

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My Journey Through an Existential Crisis

It goes by many names: existential depression, existential crisis, existential anxiety, existential angst… but what is it exactly? It’s pretty hard to describe if you’ve never experienced it. Here is the best definition I’ve found so far:

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Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Seven

desert wilderness with one barren tree. mountainous background

If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.

January 19, 2019*

Dear Jesus,

I don’t know what’s going on with me today. I’m just really not feeling it. I’m so bored with life. Bored of shopping. Bored of laundry. Bored of cleaning. Bored of working. Bored of the same ole same ole every week. Day in, day out. There must be more to life than how I’m living.

Continue reading Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Seven

Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Six

barren land with deep blue sky

If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.

August 24, 2017

Dear Jesus,

I have been so bored with my life for years. I feel like I have no purpose, no direction. I know I’m supposed to reach the lost and raise godly kids, but sometimes I don’t feel like the right girl for the job. Like, maybe they would do better if raised by someone else.

Continue reading Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Six

Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Five

desert with red, rocky hills

If you haven’t already, please go back and read my intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.

May 24, 2017

Dear Jesus,

I feel so blah all the time. So tired of struggling through this life. Tired of being bored and lonely. Tired of feeling sad. Tired of being broke and working for other people. Tired of being tired and feeling hopeless. Tired of being alone. Tired of feeling not good enough. Tired of all of it, really. I’m just so, very tired.

Yolanda

Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Four

barren wilderness with blue sky and small, desert trees

If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.


August 12, 2015

Dear Jesus,

Today I am so tired. So worn out. So burned out. So frustrated. So give out. I desperately want to send my kids to a friend’s house and just do nothing for like three days. No work, no cleaning, nothing! Sometimes I just want to lie down and die. I work so hard and wear myself out but never get ahead. I’m always behind on bills, and I can never do anything fun with my kids.

Continue reading Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Four