A health scare last month caused me to quit caffeine cold turkey. I had the typical nine days of headaches and irritability, but then something strange happened. I’ve been feeling really “off” for a couple of weeks. I’ve struggled with mild depression and anxiety for most of my adult life, but this feels different.
Continue reading Remembering Normal
We don’t always know why we go through hard things. Painful things. Depressing things. Heartbreaking things. Sometimes, there is a “reason” at the end, and we understand. Sometime there isn’t, and we are left wondering why. Why did this happen? But more importantly, why did God let this happen?
Continue reading When God Needs a Guide
If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
January 19, 2019*
Dear Jesus,
I don’t know what’s going on with me today. I’m just really not feeling it. I’m so bored with life. Bored of shopping. Bored of laundry. Bored of cleaning. Bored of working. Bored of the same ole same ole every week. Day in, day out. There must be more to life than how I’m living.
Continue reading Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Seven
If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
August 24, 2017
Dear Jesus,
I have been so bored with my life for years. I feel like I have no purpose, no direction. I know I’m supposed to reach the lost and raise godly kids, but sometimes I don’t feel like the right girl for the job. Like, maybe they would do better if raised by someone else.
Continue reading Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Six
If you haven’t already, please go back and read my intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
May 24, 2017
Dear Jesus,
I feel so blah all the time. So tired of struggling through this life. Tired of being bored and lonely. Tired of feeling sad. Tired of being broke and working for other people. Tired of being tired and feeling hopeless. Tired of being alone. Tired of feeling not good enough. Tired of all of it, really. I’m just so, very tired.
Yolanda
If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
August 12, 2015
Dear Jesus,
Today I am so tired. So worn out. So burned out. So frustrated. So give out. I desperately want to send my kids to a friend’s house and just do nothing for like three days. No work, no cleaning, nothing! Sometimes I just want to lie down and die. I work so hard and wear myself out but never get ahead. I’m always behind on bills, and I can never do anything fun with my kids.
Continue reading Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Four
If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
July 2, 2015
Dear Jesus,
I’m so tired of feeling hopeless. I hate my life. I know I shouldn’t say that, but I do. I am so joyless, better, and angry all the time. I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy. I dream of just lying down to die. I just want to give up. I don’t see the point. I feel defeated.
Continue reading Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Three
*If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
June 25, 2015
Dear Jesus,
I’m finding it harder and harder to find someone to relate to me. I always feel like I’m a burden or a pest when I try to talk to other people about my problems. I used to feel as though I could tell my friends anything and they would listen and give me advice. But now it seems they are just listening to be nice and are tired of hearing from me. I can’t say that I blame them. I’m tired of myself and my same old problems too. So, I guess I will just use this time of friendless solitude to take my problems to the Lord, and hopefully change some things. Maybe that’s what God wants me to do, why he’s he has removed all my friends. Who knows? Problems I need to address:
continue reading
*If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
No date- circa 2015
Dear Jesus,
I feel so alone, empty, and joyless. I don’t quite know what’s wrong with me, and I sure don’t know how to fix it. I know you see me as I drive to and from work. I just sit there staring off into space with this void in my soul. This is how I truly feel- empty. I feel that the life has been sucked out of me. Like all hope is gone. I feel so lost. I don’t know where to go or what to do. I don’t know how to take care of my kids. I don’t know how we are going to survive.
Continue reading Ramblings from the Wilderness-Part One
This is a collection of seven letters that I wrote to God during a very, very dark time in my life. The purpose for publishing these letters is not to get sympathy but rather to give you a look into the mind of someone with mental illness and help the world realize that looks can be deceiving.
continue reading