Scattered

This is so good. I am so bad at comparing myself to others. I always feel like other women my age are far more put together than myself. Funny thing is, I have had friends and coworkers ask me how I seem to be managing so well. Me?? I must put up a good front, because I’m the conductor of the Hot Mess Express that is my life.

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I’ve Been There

black and white. person in the dark peeking through a light-filled hole in the wall.

May 2, 2019

Listen, I’ve been there. Maybe not exactly where you are, but there. I’ve suffered with anorexia and told myself I was fat and worthless for eating fruit while wearing a size 3. I’ve been physically, mentally, and emotionally abused while being made to feel like I was the bad one.

Lost custody of my kids then told I was a horrible mother for it. Locked myself in the bathroom and cut my arms while my older kids screamed and cried, pounding on the door.

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I Have This Hope

hand sticking out of water holding a sparkler

April 26, 2019

What is it that causes someone to exhale with relief when finally given a diagnosis after many tests and doctor visits? Why do we feel almost joyous when we find someone who is going through the same thing in life as us? What is it that instantly makes the clouds lift and the colors bright again?

It’s hope.

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