May 27, 2017
I believe I just had some sort of epiphany.
My five-year-old was sitting in the bathtub and I was standing there playing on my phone waiting for the tub to fill. And then something told me to put the phone down and go hang out with my son. So, I sat next to the tub on the floor. He just looked at me with his huge brown eyes and smiled and I started to cry.
Beheld but Not Seen
How long has it been since I actually just looked at my kids and studied their face? The long eyelashes and freckled nose and cheeks. The blonde highlights in her hair and her chubby little fingers and feet.
I was raised a lot by my grandparents. We didn’t have much conversation unless I was being corrected or instructed to do something. I was always just told to go play with my sister. I believe that’s how I’ve been raising my kids too.
In the Moment
It’s more “just leave me alone and let me do what I want to do”. Sometimes I feel what’s the point of having kids if you don’t interact with them much?
I also noticed that I take a lot of videos and photos of my kids when they do cute things or whatever, but am I really in the moment when I’m posting things on Instagram? Just something to think about. Have a good night.