All Ye Heavy Laden

I don’t want to complain tonight, but can I be real? I’m tired. I will be 41 in nine days. I have been at this motherhood thing for twenty-two years, and I still have eleven to go until my youngest is 18. That’s thirty-three years, y’all. Thirty-three years of cleaning up after little people, breaking up arguments, fixing broken toys, birthday parties, tantrums (oh yes, I am still dealing with that…)

Please don’t get me wrong, I love my kids. In fact, being single for the last five years, I probably would have gone half mad living alone if it hadn’t been for my kids in the next room.

Isaiah 66:13 As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you;

But it’s tiring and worrisome because I feel like I’m failing half the time. I mean, in theory, I know I’m not, but don’t we all feel that way at some point? Like tonight, they didn’t want to go to bed and were whining. But I was already tired, and the house is a mess (which always puts me on edge because I can’t stand it!), so things spiraled out of control quickly.

Tears were shed by all, and there were apologies all around. There were hugs and kisses and they went to bed on a good note. But the house is still a mess, and I just left it. It will still be there tomorrow, right? Sure, it’s nice to wake up to a clean house, but sometimes some quiet time after the kids have gone to bed makes the world (and my mind) a better place.

Matthew 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

There is a list nowadays of things we are labeling as “self-care”. I’m not sure if “Leave the house in shambles and go write a blog post” is on the list, but maybe it should be. In ten years, the kids won’t remember if the house was spotless or a wreck tonight, but they just might remember the heart-to-heart we had before they drifted off to sleep; and that is better than a clean kitchen any day.

Published by

Yolanda Sommers

Single mother of four children living in Washington state. Received the precious Holy Ghost on June 7, 2011 and living the good life ever since!

3 thoughts on “All Ye Heavy Laden”

  1. Oh, girl, I hear you LOUD AND CLEAR! My own situation is that I’m caring for an autistic son who is 24, and will likely never leave home. My 18-year-old daughter has severe and crippling social anxiety and hasn’t even yet agreed to attempt a learner’s permit, let alone drive or get a job. There are days when it’s my joy, because I know where they both are, every night, praise God. They’re good kids. But then, there are days when we grate each other’s nerves like sandpaper!

    I’m just as deliberate with my house too. Since about a week before Thanksgiving, I’ve run myself ragged making sure everything is clean and smells good. (Smells are like my number 1 priority, lol. I can smell something “off” for a bluegrass mile!! LOL!) ON TOP OF all the other day to day cleaning with a large Husky and a five-pound Silky Terrier patrolling the house everyday. ON TOP OF a full schedule of freelance clients and two blogs to manage. SHEW!! It’s a wonder WE aren’t the ones throwing a tantrum! 🙂

    But you’re right… sometimes, we just have to throw in the towel… at least for a moment… and breathe. Just breathe. I wrote that on my calendar this week, because I knew I’d need the reminder. I’ll be praying for you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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