Fragments – Apostolic Momma

A Globus Among Us

I’m feeling some kind of way today. It’s Friday, so I should be happy. But I’ve had this strange feeling in my throat when I swallow for eleven days now. Everything I’ve Googled points to a benign condition called “globus sensation”, which is literally just a feeling that your throat is tight or has something stuck in it with no underlying cause. It generally lasts a couple of days to several months. Awesome—just what I need to add to my growing list of annoying, insignificant ailments.

I got prayed for last night at church and have been praying every day for healing. But, as usual, I can’t shake the feeling that it is caused by something more sinister. I am keenly aware that I have a fair amount of health anxiety, better known as good ol’ hypochondria. I guess being a nurse and having a wealth of health knowledge of what things could be doesn’t help.

In times past (like, a couple of months ago), I would quickly make a doctor’s appointment and get things checked out. But this time, I’m inclined to trust God and give Him time to work on my healing. If you remember me during your prayer time today, please say a little prayer for me and my throat—and my health anxiety. I truly desire to be free of both! Have a fabulous Friday, everyone, and an awesome weekend.

Scattered

This is so good. I am so bad at comparing myself to others. I always feel like other women my age are far more put together than myself. Funny thing is, I have had friends and coworkers ask me how I seem to be managing so well. Me?? I must put up a good front, because I’m the conductor of the Hot Mess Express that is my life.

Writer’s Block

I’ve been wanting to write something for a while now. Sometimes, I feel I don’t have anything worthwhile to say. Experts say when you have writer’s block, the best thing to do is just write. Odd how that works. So here I am just writing whatever comes to mind- assuming something will.

Embrace the Quirks

When my older son lived with me two years ago, he loved to watch funny videos on his phone. When he saw one he thought I would enjoy, I would hear, “Hey mom…” before he would show me his phone. All day long at random times, “Hey mom…” While washing dishes, cooking dinner, folding laundry, paying bills- “Hey mom…” To be honest, it got quite annoying until I realized that was his way of hanging out with me, so to speak.

Remembering Normal

A health scare last month caused me to quit caffeine cold turkey. I had the typical nine days of headaches and irritability, but then something strange happened. I’ve been feeling really “off” for a couple of weeks. I’ve struggled with mild depression and anxiety for most of my adult life, but this feels different.

Scheming and Dreaming

I’ve not been inspired to write lately- unless you count the six-page post I recently completed on my gluten, sugar, and dairy-free journey. I guess I’ve been in a bit of a funk. I mean, with everything going on in the world right now, I suppose that’s understandable. World events generally don’t faze me too much, but COVID-19 has changed the global society, so how could I not be a bit disturbed? Then with everything that is going on right now with racism and the riots- it’s all just too much.

Do Unto Others

Have you ever thought something nice about someone but never told them? Yesterday, I was praying for various people at my church when I realized how much I missed a certain lady! I thought about all the wonderful things I love and admire about her. Then I realized- I have never actually told her. So, I sent her a text expressing all the lovely things I appreciate about who she is as a person and role model in my life.

Bittersweet Memories

photo credit: Kennedale Historical Society

I was at work today, minding my own business, when the secretary started playing The Judds in the front office. Immediately, I began getting flashbacks of growing up in Texas.

The Judds was the first concert I ever attended. I must have been in first or second grade. I remember being so far away from the stage that we had to use binoculars to see anything! It was a time that I will never forget. Wynonna was standing in one place, playing the guitar while her mother, Naomi, danced around the stage singing. To my young mind, Naomi must have been the daughter since she was dancing around. My mother just laughed at my confusion.

Hollow Halls

It’s 8:30 a.m. on Monday morning. I am sitting at my desk in the school nurse’s office, checking my work email, and finishing my green tumbler of tea from home.

Normally, I would unlock the cupboards and grab the medication binder used to track when students come for their meds, but I won’t be needing that today. Next, I would check my mini fridge’s freezer to make sure I have a stock of ice packs ready to go before recess; I won’t be needing those today either.

Silence is Golden

Saturdays are pretty busy for me. Since I work Monday through Friday and go to church most of the day on Sunday, Saturdays are for cleaning and errands. This past Saturday, my two youngest kids got some time away from home for five hours.

Almost as soon as they left our apartment, I noticed something profound. It was quiet–very quiet. Instead of going about my to-do-list, I just sat and soaked up the silence.