healing – Apostolic Momma

A Globus Among Us

I’m feeling some kind of way today. It’s Friday, so I should be happy. But I’ve had this strange feeling in my throat when I swallow for eleven days now. Everything I’ve Googled points to a benign condition called “globus sensation”, which is literally just a feeling that your throat is tight or has something stuck in it with no underlying cause. It generally lasts a couple of days to several months. Awesome—just what I need to add to my growing list of annoying, insignificant ailments.

I got prayed for last night at church and have been praying every day for healing. But, as usual, I can’t shake the feeling that it is caused by something more sinister. I am keenly aware that I have a fair amount of health anxiety, better known as good ol’ hypochondria. I guess being a nurse and having a wealth of health knowledge of what things could be doesn’t help.

In times past (like, a couple of months ago), I would quickly make a doctor’s appointment and get things checked out. But this time, I’m inclined to trust God and give Him time to work on my healing. If you remember me during your prayer time today, please say a little prayer for me and my throat—and my health anxiety. I truly desire to be free of both! Have a fabulous Friday, everyone, and an awesome weekend.

It’s Ok

Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Seven

desert wilderness with one barren tree. mountainous background

If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.

January 19, 2019*

Dear Jesus,

I don’t know what’s going on with me today. I’m just really not feeling it. I’m so bored with life. Bored of shopping. Bored of laundry. Bored of cleaning. Bored of working. Bored of the same ole same ole every week. Day in, day out. There must be more to life than how I’m living.

Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Six

If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.

August 24, 2017

Dear Jesus,

I have been so bored with my life for years. I feel like I have no purpose, no direction. I know I’m supposed to reach the lost and raise godly kids, but sometimes I don’t feel like the right girl for the job. Like, maybe they would do better if raised by someone else.

Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Five

If you haven’t already, please go back and read my intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.

May 24, 2017

Dear Jesus,

I feel so blah all the time. So tired of struggling through this life. Tired of being bored and lonely. Tired of feeling sad. Tired of being broke and working for other people. Tired of being tired and feeling hopeless. Tired of being alone. Tired of feeling not good enough. Tired of all of it, really. I’m just so, very tired.

Yolanda

Don’t Wait for a Revival

man in suit and dress shoes sitting on alter steps of a church. empty church pews in the background

Our annual youth convention is only eight days away. I must confess, it is the highlight of my year. Why is that? Because we usually have a powerful move of God every service!

What separates these services apart from any other service? Usually, I will pray more and fast the days leading up to youth convention. Is that what makes a difference? Maybe, but I think the difference is that we come expecting.

Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Four

barren wilderness with blue sky and small, desert trees

If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.

August 12, 2015

Dear Jesus,

Today I am so tired. So worn out. So burned out. So frustrated. So give out. I desperately want to send my kids to a friend’s house and just do nothing for like three days. No work, no cleaning, nothing! Sometimes I just want to lie down and die. I work so hard and wear myself out but never get ahead. I’m always behind on bills, and I can never do anything fun with my kids.

Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Three

If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.

July 2, 2015

Dear Jesus,

I’m so tired of feeling hopeless. I hate my life. I know I shouldn’t say that, but I do. I am so joyless, better, and angry all the time. I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy. I dream of just lying down to die. I just want to give up. I don’t see the point. I feel defeated.

Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Two

*If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.

June 25, 2015

Dear Jesus,

I’m finding it harder and harder to find someone to relate to me. I always feel like I’m a burden or a pest when I try to talk to other people about my problems. I used to feel as though I could tell my friends anything and they would listen and give me advice. But now it seems they are just listening to be nice and are tired of hearing from me. I can’t say that I blame them. I’m tired of myself and my same old problems too. So, I guess I will just use this time of friendless solitude to take my problems to the Lord, and hopefully change some things. Maybe that’s what God wants me to do, why he’s he has removed all my friends. Who knows? Problems I need to address:

Ramblings from the Wilderness-Part One

desert wilderness with red sand and two small mountains

*If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.

No date- circa 2015

Dear Jesus,

I feel so alone, empty, and joyless. I don’t quite know what’s wrong with me, and I sure don’t know how to fix it. I know you see me as I drive to and from work. I just sit there staring off into space with this void in my soul. This is how I truly feel- empty. I feel that the life has been sucked out of me. Like all hope is gone. I feel so lost. I don’t know where to go or what to do. I don’t know how to take care of my kids. I don’t know how we are going to survive.