If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
July 2, 2015
I’m so tired of feeling hopeless. I hate my life. I know I shouldn’t say that, but I do. I am so joyless, better, and angry all the time. I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy. I dream of just lying down to die. I just want to give up. I don’t see the point. I feel defeated.
My life feels meaningless and purposeless. I have no friends, nobody to talk to who understands. I don’t know what to do anymore. I know I need to be strong for my kids, but I am not a good mom to them. I am too tired, too frustrated, too moody to see them as anything but an irritation. And they are good kids, so I feel bad for saying that. It’s just how my messed-up brain works.
I just don’t know what to do. Please help me to see the good in my life and find my purpose. I can’t go on trying to just be a “good Christian”. I need to have a goal, dream, or purpose in life. Thank you for all that you’ve blessed me with, and please forgive me for not being more grateful.
Please help me accept that my life has changed for the better, I just don’t realize it yet. Please give me strength and patience to wait for your plan to unfold. Give me wisdom and courage to face each day knowing that I am one day closer to your plan. Help me to fully live and learn in each moment during this trying season of my life. In Jesus’ name, amen.