Remembering Normal

A health scare last month caused me to quit caffeine cold turkey. I had the typical nine days of headaches and irritability, but then something strange happened. I’ve been feeling really “off” for a couple of weeks. I’ve struggled with mild depression and anxiety for most of my adult life, but this feels different.

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You Never Forget

black and white. woman with face hidden by her hair looking out a window

The year 2003 is a dead tie (with 2014) for the worst year of my life. At the start of the year, I was a 24-year-old, married mother of two. By mid-June, I was a divorced, weekend parent living in a cheap motel.

All I had to show for my six-year marriage was a couple trash bags of clothes and a box of personal belongings. Eventually, I acquired an old station wagon with 300,000 miles on it and I figured it was cheaper to live in my car- so that’s what I did.

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I’ve Been There

black and white. person in the dark peeking through a light-filled hole in the wall.

May 2, 2019

Listen, I’ve been there. Maybe not exactly where you are, but there. I’ve suffered with anorexia and told myself I was fat and worthless for eating fruit while wearing a size 3. I’ve been physically, mentally, and emotionally abused while being made to feel like I was the bad one.

Lost custody of my kids then told I was a horrible mother for it. Locked myself in the bathroom and cut my arms while my older kids screamed and cried, pounding on the door.

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