So there I was, having a rough night and lamenting to my friend, asking, “When is God going to send me someone??” Boohoo… Rather than further exhaust my poor friend with my pitiful life-woos, I decided to go pray about it. I am so glad I did.
After about thirty minutes of pleading my case to God, I admitted to Him that I was also jealous of how other people can pray the way I only wish I could. Then I remembered a picture someone posted today that said, “No shortcuts exist. The person who would know God must give time to Him.”
Suddenly, it hit me like a ton of bricks: Why would God bless someone whom He doesn’t even know? Sure, He knows of me. I go to church every service and sing in the choir. My kids go to the church school, and I pay tithes. I go to prayer meetings and church workdays. But does He know me?
Matthew 7:21-23 says: Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
If they had prophesied in His name, cast out devils, and done many wonderful works—why did Jesus say He never knew them? Because there was no personal relationship with Him. Just like we can work for a company and do a great job, even make lots of money or win lots of clients, etc., but never have a personal relationship with the boss. We can busy ourselves with the work of the Lord, but if we don’t have a prayer life or daily walk with Him, we don’t really know Him.
So why would God bless someone He doesn’t know? He could, sure; it happens all the time. But the Word says, “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” (Matthew 7:11) The verse clearly says your Father, which again denotes relationship.
The truth is, I don’t have a close relationship with God. At least, nowhere near as close as I want it to be. Nowhere near as close as it needs to be. I have relied too much on my own strength and support from friends to help me get by. I feel like my lack of personal connection with God has been my biggest hindrance. I am literally standing in my own way.
But we must be careful to not fall into the trap of wanting a closer relationship with God just to receive a blessing. God knows our hearts and motives. In Isaiah 29:13, Therefore the Lord said: “These people draw near to Me with their mouths and honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. Their worship of Me is but rules taught by men.” Ouch. I am reminded of this song by Natalie Grant:
Help me want the Healer
More than the healing
Help me want the Savior
More than the saving
Help me want the Giver
More than the giving
Oh, help me want You, Jesus
More than anything
After seven and a half years of see-sawing and half-hearted attempts at living for God, I think I’m ready to do this right. This is my prayer tonight:
Lord, I’m ready now
All the walls are down
Time is running out
And I wanna make this count
I ran away from You
And I did what I wanted to
But I don’t wanna let You down
O, Lord, I’m ready now
(Plumb)
Apostolic Momma 