I’ve not been inspired to write lately- unless you count the six-page post I recently completed on my gluten, sugar, and dairy-free journey. I guess I’ve been in a bit of a funk. I mean, with everything going on in the world right now, I suppose that’s understandable. World events generally don’t faze me too much, but COVID-19 has changed the global society, so how could I not be a bit disturbed? Then with everything that is going on right now with racism and the riots- it’s all just too much.
I want to get out in nature, but I live in the Pacific Northwest where it’s still rainy and fifty to sixty degrees most days. I did go for a walk today in a fairly quiet part of the neighborhood; that was nice. I saw lots of lovely homes nestled around the lake, and it got me wishing.
I live in an apartment and long for a house of my own. Someplace where my kids can have their own room and not hear me yell at them to stop jumping every five minutes (we live upstairs and I’m sure my neighbors don’t appreciate it). Someplace where they can go outside and play, have a tire swing or trampoline, a small swimming pool maybe, anything but electronics.
But I have some unfulfilled dreams that are keeping me from buying a house. Something inside that says, “It’s not time yet. Wait a little longer.” So, I’m stuck between what I want right now and waiting for the right time- whenever that may be. I’m a planner, I hate uncertainty. I feel like I’m drifting through life with no goals. I know that I do want to buy a house in the near future- so saving money is my goal I suppose.
I think I’ve been detached from myself for a while, like I don’t really know what I want in life. I need to sit down and do some major scheming and dreaming!
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” —Eleanor Roosevelt