The weather forecast calls for temperatures in the 80s and 90s this week. The kids and I are going camping with our church this weekend. People are still swimming and taking their boats out on the lake. But I can tell winter is coming.
The leaves on the tree outside my bedroom window started turning from green to red a couple weeks ago. Many of them have already fallen to the ground. The night air is too crisp to sleep with the window open, and my feet are cold against the kitchen floor in the morning. The kids have started back to school, and I was starting to lose hope in my dreams for this year.
I love my Fitbit. Every hour it vibrates to let me know that I need to get up and move. When I first got it a little over a year ago, I would actually get up and walk around until I got my 250 steps in for that hour. Over time though, I would ignore the vibration periodically.
I just checked the app to see when’s the last time I got all my hourly steps in during the day. Y’all, it was February of last year! What happened?
Every year, FB reminds me of the exact moment when one of my closest friendships died. I could delete the memory and never see it again, but I choose to remember where I came from and what God brought me out of.
I had a very productive day today. I washed, dried, folded, and put away four loads of laundry. (I know, right?) I also washed the dishes- which I must admit is not a daily thing in my house, sadly.
After my cleaning spree, the kids and I ran five errands which included trips to Walmart and Winco. After unloading and putting away the groceries, I cooked a very simple dinner for the kids and took a bath.
I have struggled with depression and anxiety for about 19 years. Recently, it got to a very scary place where life felt completely meaningless. Not only my life, but all life in general (but that is another post for another day).
My pastor introduced me to Nouthetic counseling and asked me to look up and memorize 20 verses on “the mind”. I wrote these on index cards and carried them around until I memorized them. Most of them are very familiar verses, but some may be new to you. I hope they help.
I think I have finally figured out what my problem is: I’m addicted to self-improvement.
I don’t know when it
first started, but I think it was probably about seven years ago after I had my
fourth child. I hardly liked anything about myself. I didn’t like my body, I
didn’t feel like I was a good enough mom or wife, I yelled too much, etc.