He Will Restore the Locust Years

child lying in a file of dandelions, blowing the seeds off of one.

All these letters I’ve been posting lately really make me realize how broken I was for five years. Today on the way to church I was listening to “Waymaker”– which, by the way, is one of my favorite songs, and if you’ve never heard it, I highly suggest you take a listen- and I was thinking back about how God has been working in my life.

One part of the song says,
“Even when I don’t feel it, you’re working.
Even when I don’t see it, you’re working.
You never stop, you never stop working.”
That part really resonates with me because oftentimes, I can’t feel or see God at work, but I know he never stops working.

A Promise from God

After I got to church, I was praying, and I felt so sad and disappointed in myself that I was in such a bad place for five years and I wished I could give all that time back to God. I felt like He spoke to my heart and said, “I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten”. I have read this verse (Joel 2:25) before and even heard sermons preached on it, but to hear it whispered to my spirit gave it new life.

Not only did I lose five years to depression and bitterness, my kids had to witness all of it. I tried to hold it together when they were around, but I often lashed out at them, taking my frustration and anger at being “wronged” and placing it on them. I also lost my marriage, and the kids lost their dad. I often feel like our little world will stay broken forever, but God says he will restore the years.

Restoration

What this restoration will look like, I don’t know. He has already restored my joy! Sure, I have bad days, but it’s not every minute of the day like before. I believe all of this has happened for a reason, and like my pastor said this morning, I can sit here and try to figure out why something happened five years ago, or I can live for today and choose to be happy in this moment- trusting that God will give me a hope and a future. I choose to let go and let God.

Published by

Apostolic Momma

Single mother of four children living in Washington state. Received the precious Holy Ghost on June 7, 2011 and living the good life ever since!

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