Apostolic – Apostolic Momma

When You Feel Like a Failure

I started my day off feeling like a failure. How’s your morning going? Back on July 4^th, I realized there was exactly 180 days until the end of the year. I had the idea to use these 180 days to “do a 180^o” and transform my life. I deleted all social media apps from my phone and determined to spend more time in prayer, fasting, and reading the Word.

I was pumped for a little while. You know how it is when you get a new piece of exercise equipment and use it every day? Then every other day… maybe twice a week… when the mood strikes? Yeah, that’s how my 180^ois going. At first, I would wake up early to pray before work and pray each night before bed. I would read my Bible and books on prayer or listen to sermons. I looked forward to fasting once a week and spending more time with God.

But lately, when my alarm goes off in the morning, I just roll over and go back to sleep. Sometimes I pray that day, sometimes I don’t. I listen to the Bible App read the Word to me, but sometimes I’m thinking about other things. My weekly fast has lost its appeal. That extra time with God has often been replaced by playing games on my phone. It only took three weeks to slip back into my old routine, and I feel like a failure.

Come as You Are

Nine years ago today I made a decision which changed the trajectory of my life. I was a backslider who had decided to come back to church. It wasn’t Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, or any other special day of the year. It was just a beautiful, springy Sunday morning here in the Pacific Northwest.

Spiritual Fitbit

I love my Fitbit. Every hour it vibrates to let me know that I need to get up and move. When I first got it a little over a year ago, I would actually get up and walk around until I got my 250 steps in for that hour. Over time though, I would ignore the vibration periodically.

I just checked the app to see when’s the last time I got all my hourly steps in during the day. Y’all, it was February of last year! What happened?

My Beloved

Imagine you’re lying in bed next to your spouse, eagerly waiting for them to wake up. You gaze upon them quietly with love and admiration until finally they open their eyes. But the first thing they do is grab their phone and check for missed messages or emails. They don’t even bother to say good morning to you.

Faith in Action

Luke 17:14
He (Jesus) looked at them and said, “Go show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy.
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And as they went… they were cleansed. They weren’t healed immediately. They were healed after they started to do what they had been told. That required faith!

Walking Billboard

Did you know that you are a walking billboard? It’s true! People can take one look at you and tell all kinds of things about who you are as a person.

The Greater Gain

Every year, FB reminds me of the exact moment when one of my closest friendships died. I could delete the memory and never see it again, but I choose to remember where I came from and what God brought me out of.

Modesty

Old-Fashioned

I’ve changed a lot in the last 8 years. Many of my friends now call me old-fashioned. I take it as a compliment.

Seek Ye First

a blur of people rushing across a busy, city street

I think I have finally figured out what my problem is: I’m addicted to self-improvement.

I don’t know when it first started, but I think it was probably about seven years ago after I had my fourth child. I hardly liked anything about myself. I didn’t like my body, I didn’t feel like I was a good enough mom or wife, I yelled too much, etc.