life – Apostolic Momma

Still Alive

I haven’t written anything in over a year. I promise, I’m still alive. Life has just been… life. Nothing spectacular or horrible, just life.

My best friend had a baby. My kids are finishing up the school year. My youngest child will officially become a teenager tomorrow (Lord, help me). My granddaughter will be four in a couple of weeks. We are visiting Ireland in July. My daughter starts driver’s ed this year (Lord, help us all).

Honestly, I feel like I’m in a slump. A rut. Stagnate. I used to be motivated to write all the time. Inspiration would come from everywhere. I truly believe most of my inspiration came from the Holy Ghost. Now, I never feel motivated or inspired to do anything but take a nap. Maybe I’m just getting old, or maybe I’ve tuned God out.

Rainbow Weather

The other day, my daughter, Kiana, and I were driving to the store to get her some lip balm. The sky was dark, cloudy, and sunny all at once. There was also rain and hail that was coming and going. It was the craziest thing. There is a tradition in our house called “rainbow weather”. Anytime it is rainy with sun breaks, we look for rainbows.

Rainbows are a rather curious thing. They are beautiful but need both rain and sun to form. Living in Washington state, one would think I am used to the rain, but they would be wrong. I don’t hate it as much as I used to, but I still prefer non-rainy days anytime. It’s like that with life, too. I want to see the beautiful promises of God fulfilled in my life, but I don’t want to go through the storms.

Chain of Events

Have you ever had a chain of events happen that led to something unexpected? If the timing of even one thing in that chain was off, the end result would not have happened. It’s so crazy to me when this happens. In fact, it happened to me just yesterday.

I Lack Nothing

Dear Jesus,

Thank you for the season of Lent to remind us to draw closer to you. I have struggled in my relationship with you. I don’t know if it’s because I never had a close relationship with my father, or what. I have the desire to have a closer walk with you, but I don’t know how to get there. I pray, read my Bible, pay my tithe, and go to church, but it seems like that’s not enough. What more is there? What am I missing?

Scattered

This is so good. I am so bad at comparing myself to others. I always feel like other women my age are far more put together than myself. The funny thing is, I’ve had friends and coworkers ask me how I seem to be managing so well. Me?? I must put up a good front because I’m the conductor of the Hot Mess Express that is my life.

It’s Ok

Dave Ramsey Would Disapprove

Let me start off by saying- I love Dave Ramsey. I have read some of his books, follow him on Instagram, and use the EveryDollar app to track my budget. I love how he’s not afraid to talk about his faith and encourages others to pay tithes/give ten percent to charity. That being said, I don’t agree with a few things.

God Didn’t Ask

God didn’t ask me if I wanted to be alive during the circus that is 2020. He didn’t ask me if I wanted my husband to go to prison or if I wanted to lose my house. He didn’t ask if I wanted boys or girls when I was pregnant. He didn’t ask my friend if he wanted cancer. He didn’t ask my coworker if she wanted a special needs child. He didn’t ask hurricane victims if they wanted their houses destroyed. He didn’t ask that couple if they wanted to struggle with infertility. He didn’t ask any of us.

Life’s Not Fair, But God is Good

I learned something today- life’s not fair. The rich get richer while the poor stay poor. Innocent children die of horrible diseases while various adults treat their bodies horribly and live into old age. Couples who would be excellent parents can’t conceive while others abuse their children. Some married couples fight constantly and cheat while their single friends dream of having a spouse.

That is just life, and it’s not fair. I’m not the only one who thinks so. The Bible is full of people asking God about the unfairness of it all:

Tag: life