Last night, I was having a conversation with Joe* about a sensitive issue for me and about how I have prayed and prayed about not only this issue but many others. He tried to encourage me, as he always does, but I went to my room feeling sorry for myself.
I tried to pray, but instead poured my frustrations out to God. I even called myself names and told God how worthless I was for not being able to change myself into the woman and mother I want to be. I have had this conversation many, many times with God, but tonight He gave me a word.
Today I was praying, and just fell silent before the Lord. I often do this, just sit in silence and listen. Today I feel like God was telling me, “You can’t take it with you.” So many times, I feel “less than” compared to some of my friends. Wishing I could bake or cook like this one, or dress or decorated like that one.
But today, I feel like… what good is all that? Sure, it’s nice to have nice things or have a nicely decorated home. Nice clothes, nice house, or a nice car, but you can’t take it with you. It might make me happy for a little bit. But soon, I will get tired of those clothes, bored with the decor, the car will get trashed… why bother?