Apostolic Momma

God Didn’t Ask

God didn’t ask me if I wanted to be alive during the circus that is 2020. He didn’t ask me if I wanted my husband to go to prison or if I wanted to lose my house. He didn’t ask if I wanted boys or girls when I was pregnant. He didn’t ask my friend if he wanted cancer. He didn’t ask my coworker if she wanted a special needs child. He didn’t ask hurricane victims if they wanted their houses destroyed. He didn’t ask that couple if they wanted to struggle with infertility. He didn’t ask any of us.

Stay Strong

Angry with God

A lot has happened in the month since I last wrote. My stepmother died a few days ago. She was married to my father for 38 years–since I was three. Together, they raised five children who gave them twelve grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren. And yet she died without a single family member by her side.

The Hardest Thing

The Balloon Lesson

My daughter’s birthday was five days ago. Being the big spender that I am, I bought her a “happy birthday” balloon from the Dollar Tree which was slightly under-inflated to begin with. Today, I noticed it was hovering a couple of feet off the floor.

Scheming and Dreaming

I’ve not been inspired to write lately- unless you count the six-page post I recently completed on my gluten, sugar, and dairy-free journey. I guess I’ve been in a bit of a funk. I mean, with everything going on in the world right now, I suppose that’s understandable. World events generally don’t faze me too much, but COVID-19 has changed the global society, so how could I not be a bit disturbed? Then with everything that is going on right now with racism and the riots- it’s all just too much.

Gluten, Sugar, and Dairy-Free for 21 Days

I decided, quite randomly on a Monday, to go on a sugar, gluten, and dairy-free diet for 21 days. The reason for this is simple enough–I am extremely tired of feeling bloated, cranky, and exhausted.

Complete

What makes us complete? It’s the fullness of life that comes from God. I have looked to my job, my kids, relationships, education, food, exercise, friends—you name it—to give me a sense of wholeness and fulfillment, but none of that made me feel complete. Why? We are born with a God-shaped hole that only He can fill. Until we give ourselves to Him completely and let Him fill the void, we will continue to seek out substitutions that will never satisfy.

“Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.”
-St. Augustine

Life’s Not Fair, But God is Good

I learned something today- life’s not fair. The rich get richer while the poor stay poor. Innocent children die of horrible diseases while various adults treat their bodies horribly and live into old age. Couples who would be excellent parents can’t conceive while others abuse their children. Some married couples fight constantly and cheat while their single friends dream of having a spouse.

That is just life, and it’s not fair. I’m not the only one who thinks so. The Bible is full of people asking God about the unfairness of it all:

Do Unto Others

Have you ever thought something nice about someone but never told them? Yesterday, I was praying for various people at my church when I realized how much I missed a certain lady! I thought about all the wonderful things I love and admire about her. Then I realized- I have never actually told her. So, I sent her a text expressing all the lovely things I appreciate about who she is as a person and role model in my life.