He Will Restore the Locust Years

child lying in a file of dandelions, blowing the seeds off of one.

All these letters I’ve been posting lately really make me realize how broken I was for five years. Today on the way to church I was listening to “Waymaker”– which, by the way, is one of my favorite songs, and if you’ve never heard it, I highly suggest you take a listen- and I was thinking back about how God has been working in my life.

One part of the song says,
“Even when I don’t feel it, you’re working.
Even when I don’t see it, you’re working.
You never stop, you never stop working.”
That part really resonates with me because oftentimes, I can’t feel or see God at work, but I know he never stops working.

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Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Three

sandy desert at sunset with orange sky

If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.

July 2, 2015

Dear Jesus,

 I’m so tired of feeling hopeless. I hate my life. I know I shouldn’t say that, but I do. I am so joyless, better, and angry all the time. I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy. I dream of just lying down to die. I just want to give up. I don’t see the point. I feel defeated.

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Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Two

desert with blue sky and footprints

*If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.

June 25, 2015

Dear Jesus, 

I’m finding it harder and harder to find someone to relate to me. I always feel like I’m a burden or a pest when I try to talk to other people about my problems. I used to feel as though I could tell my friends anything and they would listen and give me advice. But now it seems they are just listening to be nice and are tired of hearing from me. I can’t say that I blame them. I’m tired of myself and my same old problems too. So, I guess I will just use this time of friendless solitude to take my problems to the Lord, and hopefully change some things. Maybe that’s what God wants me to do, why he’s he has removed all my friends. Who knows? Problems I need to address:

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Ramblings from the Wilderness-Part One

desert wilderness with red sand and two small mountains

*If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.

No date- circa 2015

Dear Jesus,

I feel so alone, empty, and joyless. I don’t quite know what’s wrong with me, and I sure don’t know how to fix it. I know you see me as I drive to and from work. I just sit there staring off into space with this void in my soul. This is how I truly feel- empty. I feel that the life has been sucked out of me. Like all hope is gone. I feel so lost. I don’t know where to go or what to do. I don’t know how to take care of my kids. I don’t know how we are going to survive.

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How to Bring Down Walls

ancient ruins, broken down walls

*This post is long, but it’s FIRE! If you don’t have time to read it in its entirety, please read the italicized phrases and the end sections. You will be blessed!*

I’ve been coming to church for eight years now, and although I’m always faithful to come to services, I have always struggled with the daily walk. Lately, I’ve really been trying to be more consistent with daily prayer and Bible reading every single morning before I check my phone.

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The Daniel Fast Food List

wooden crates filled with colorful fruits and vegetables.

I admit it- I eat way too much junk. I try to go on the Daniel Fast twice a year; not only for the spiritual aspect of it, which is its purpose, but to detox my body as well. The following is reposted from the website of Kristen Feola, author of The Ultimate Guide to the Daniel Fast. Go check out her amazing website for all things Daniel Fast.

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Seek Ye First

a blur of people rushing across a busy, city street

I think I have finally figured out what my problem is: I’m addicted to self-improvement.

I don’t know when it first started, but I think it was probably about seven years ago after I had my fourth child. I hardly liked anything about myself. I didn’t like my body, I didn’t feel like I was a good enough mom or wife, I yelled too much, etc. 

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