If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
August 24, 2017
Dear Jesus,
I have been so bored with my life for years. I feel like I have no purpose, no direction. I know I’m supposed to reach the lost and raise godly kids, but sometimes I don’t feel like the right girl for the job. Like, maybe they would do better if raised by someone else.
Continue reading Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Six
If you haven’t already, please go back and read my intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
May 24, 2017
Dear Jesus,
I feel so blah all the time. So tired of struggling through this life. Tired of being bored and lonely. Tired of feeling sad. Tired of being broke and working for other people. Tired of being tired and feeling hopeless. Tired of being alone. Tired of feeling not good enough. Tired of all of it, really. I’m just so, very tired.
Yolanda
Our annual youth convention is only eight days away. I must confess, it is the highlight of my year. Why is that? Because we usually have a powerful move of God every service!
What separates these services apart from any other service? Usually, I will pray more and fast the days leading up to youth convention. Is that what makes a difference? Maybe, but I think the difference is that we come expecting.
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If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
August 12, 2015
Dear Jesus,
Today I am so tired. So worn out. So burned out. So frustrated. So give out. I desperately want to send my kids to a friend’s house and just do nothing for like three days. No work, no cleaning, nothing! Sometimes I just want to lie down and die. I work so hard and wear myself out but never get ahead. I’m always behind on bills, and I can never do anything fun with my kids.
Continue reading Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Four
All these letters I’ve been posting lately really make me realize how broken I was for five years. Today on the way to church I was listening to “Waymaker”– which, by the way, is one of my favorite songs, and if you’ve never heard it, I highly suggest you take a listen- and I was thinking back about how God has been working in my life.
One part of the song says,
“Even when I don’t feel it, you’re working.
Even when I don’t see it, you’re working.
You never stop, you never stop working.”
That part really resonates with me because oftentimes, I can’t feel or see God at work, but I know he never stops working.
If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
July 2, 2015
Dear Jesus,
I’m so tired of feeling hopeless. I hate my life. I know I shouldn’t say that, but I do. I am so joyless, better, and angry all the time. I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy. I dream of just lying down to die. I just want to give up. I don’t see the point. I feel defeated.
Continue reading Ramblings from the Wilderness- Part Three
*If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
June 25, 2015
Dear Jesus,
I’m finding it harder and harder to find someone to relate to me. I always feel like I’m a burden or a pest when I try to talk to other people about my problems. I used to feel as though I could tell my friends anything and they would listen and give me advice. But now it seems they are just listening to be nice and are tired of hearing from me. I can’t say that I blame them. I’m tired of myself and my same old problems too. So, I guess I will just use this time of friendless solitude to take my problems to the Lord, and hopefully change some things. Maybe that’s what God wants me to do, why he’s he has removed all my friends. Who knows? Problems I need to address:
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*If you haven’t already, please go back and read the intro. These letters will make much more sense if you read the intro first, thanks.
No date- circa 2015
Dear Jesus,
I feel so alone, empty, and joyless. I don’t quite know what’s wrong with me, and I sure don’t know how to fix it. I know you see me as I drive to and from work. I just sit there staring off into space with this void in my soul. This is how I truly feel- empty. I feel that the life has been sucked out of me. Like all hope is gone. I feel so lost. I don’t know where to go or what to do. I don’t know how to take care of my kids. I don’t know how we are going to survive.
Continue reading Ramblings from the Wilderness-Part One
*This post is long, but it’s FIRE! If you don’t have time to read it in its entirety, please read the italicized phrases and the end sections. You will be blessed!*
I’ve been coming to church for eight years now, and although I’m always faithful to come to services, I have always struggled with the daily walk. Lately, I’ve really been trying to be more consistent with daily prayer and Bible reading every single morning before I check my phone.
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This poem came to me after my divorce. I put on a brave face in public, but fell apart at home. Everyone kept telling me how strong I was; if they only knew. I guess now they do.
Apostolic Momma 
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